Heavenly Father,
I dread these moments. The ones where I have to break my kid’s heart to shape their character. The shopping meltdowns, the timeout battles, the “no you can’t have candy for breakfast” wars. It honestly feels like this might never end.
Should I just fold and buy the toys to avert the tantrum?
Should I relent and hand over my phone in the restaurant?
Give up my parental duty to a screen?
I’d gladly hand over the $8 for a toy I know they’re going to break to make the screaming stop.
Here’s what I’m learning from you Father, the tantrum might look different but i’m doing the same to you. You love us too much to give us everything we think we want. If you answered every prayer of mine how much better would the world look, versus how much “better” would my life look by social media standards? When we throw our own tantrums, demanding that promotion, that relationship, that easy path, You sit with us in our disappointment, not because You enjoy our pain, but because You’re forming our character.
Lord for my sons, I’m asking that you help them understand that discipline isn’t punishment. When I say no to that toy, I’m teaching them that tantrums don’t work. You will never enjoy something you screamed your way into getting. When I make them clean their room before their friends come over, I’m teaching them that good things require effort. When I don’t let them quit when things get hard, I’m teaching them that the best parts of life are on the other side of difficulty.
Lord please give them eyes to see what I learning, that love sometimes looks like disappointment. Strength sometimes means holding the line when it would be easier to cave. That the most powerful thing I can do as a father isn’t always making their momentary dreams come true, it’s being willing to be the bad guy because I love them too much to let them become someone nobody wants to be around.
Holy Spirit, be to my boys what I’m trying to be in these hard moments, the steady presence that says “I love you, but the answer is still no.” When they’re adults and facing Your discipline in their own lives, help them recognize Your love is still working even if answers to their prayers come with delayed answers, and that the hard lessons that shape them into men of character are why you say no sometimes.
And Father, help me trust what You’re showing me, that discipline done in love creates security, not fear.
I know I can’t shield them from every disappointment. I can’t remove every obstacle, but I can show them what it looks like to love someone enough to do the hard thing. And in doing the hard thing, I can point them to You, the perfect Father who disciplines every child He accepts, who loves us too much to leave us the way we are.
This is my prayer, in the name of Jesus, who knew what it meant to submit to His Father’s will even when it led to a cross, and who calls us to take up our own crosses daily.
Amen.
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” - Proverbs 3:11-12
🥊 THE FIGHT PLAN
This week, before you discipline your kids, ask yourself: “Am I doing this out of love or frustration?” Take a breath if you need to. Remember that discipline should be training of their character, not punishment. Your goal isn’t to win the battle, it’s to shape their character for the war they’ll face when they’re adults.